One F*CKIN day!

Ang tagal ko na uli bago nagsulat ah..Sobrang bigat lang..Ang araw na 'to ang pinaka madramang araw ngayong taon. Bad trip sa work. Olats sa mga bagay na akala ko okay na. Bakit kaya ganon? Bakit kaya may mga tao na para lang ma-achieve ang mga selfish interests nila, nagagawa nilang manlamang, gumawa ng chismis, at makapanakit? Sa mga taong sobra ka pang nagtiwala? Maybe, that's one of the greatest lessons I've learned so far, wag basta basta magtiwala. Give your trust to those people who deserve it. Tapos, kung sino pa yung akala mo makakaintindi sa'yo, hindi pala. There'll be NO one who could understand you truly, except YOURSELF.

Rejection

Mahal kita. Sa una pa lang minahal na kita. Ang sarap sabihin na “Mahal kita, Anne. Mahal na mahal kita. Sobra kong pinapanalangin na sana ikaw na. Pero, natatakot ako..sobra akong natatakot na baka masaktan ako. Dahil sa sobra kitang minamahal, baka sobra din kung masaktan ako. Hindi ko na kaya. Hindi na kaya ng puso ko masaktan pa ng isang beses. Masyadong maraming beses na. At hindi biro mag-move on. Kaya sobra akong natatakot.

I'm back!

Hey hey!

I'm back..now, I have reasons uli to write. After a quite long time of healing..I'm back on track. It's all because of her..my trainer..Ann. :) Naggy-gym na kasi ako ngayon. Hay salamat! Ang tagal ko bago uli naka pag-work out. It was my first day..syempre, mukang tanga pa ko..di pa alam ang gagawin..the equipments are high end, di pa marunong mag-operate..yung mga machines, mukang complicated..I was standing as if nag-aantay na may re-rescue sakin. Originally, di naman sya ng trainer ko..it was Joan..nagkataon na may niti-train din sya that time so walang magha-handle sakin. Then Joan said to Ann na i-assist ako. Medyo nakaka-ilang at first kasi sanay ako sa lalaki na trainer. Syempre may malice pag girl! Haha! Seriously, nahihiya kasi talaga ko tapos sya mukang matatawa na kasi naman di ako makatingin derecho sa kanya. Then we laughed. Hay! Napagaan nya ang loob ko. Parang ice breaker. I wanted to say thank you nung pauwi na ko kaso ayun..na-torpe na naman. You know what, I prayed for her..sana may sign na sya na..kasi takot ako eh..takot akong masaktan uli..Sana i-consider nya..

It's been a month.

Hi..Am sorry, it's been a month.

Not yet ready.

I heard your voice again and that made my day special. I want to say, I love you Han and I’ve been missing you lately. But, saying it will not cause anything so I’d rather not. The moving on part of you and me will just be cut because I definitely know that we will just fall again. I felt so bad when I called SM Taytay, walang Razon’s. :( Kung may magagawa lang sana ko. I’m sorry wala akong magawa which makes me upset. I love you in every second of the day. I love you no matter what. You just don’t know how much I wanted to shout it but I can’t. Haayy.