My LAL

First impression, masungit, strict, bossy. I once told myself na hindi ko sya makakasundo. And made mistake, hindi ko lang pala sya makakasundo..dahil mamahalin ko sya.

I'm thinking of doing a blog describing why I am in love with Lal, she always asks me to do a blog because from here, nakikilala nya daw ako. Siguro nga sya lang reader ko eh..pero di bale, sapat na sya to keep me going. She has a strong personality, when you look at her, she's the type of person na hindi kayo magkakasundo not until makikilala mo pa sya. Pero, pano ko sya minahal? Hmmm..mahal ko sya kasi yun ang nararamdaman ko. I never expected na I will be in this kind of situation. Mahirap sa mahirap. Komplikado sa komplikado. Mali kung mali. Pero her hug makes everything right. Her voice makes everything easy and her laugh makes me say that everything will be okay. Sabi nga namin, eto yung type ng relationship na maraming "haaayyy" at "pero".. I remember, when I first hold her hand..it was perfect..the feeling is sooo perfect. And that time, I was wishing na sana kami na lang..na sana wala na kong iisipin kundi yung makakasama ko pa sya ng matagal. Pero pano? Kung sa bawat magkasama kami, nababawasan yung time nya for her family? Kung sa bawat pagsabi nya na mahal nya ko, nagkakamali kami? Nangangarap akong sana forever yun pero that very moment, nandun yung guilt? Paano ka magmamahal kung pagkakamali yun? Mga tanong na hindi ko kayang sagutin kasi takot akong sagutin dahil alam ko na isa lang ang dapat kong gawin para itama ang lahat. To let her go.. Sometimes, love is not enough..gusto ko man lumaban pero wala akong sapat na dahilan para lumaban..para saan? para sa ano? Lalaban ako para masaktan? Nakakatawa ang reason.. I can't find the right words kung bakit ako nagmamahal..kasi nararamdaman ko lang sya..Siguro may reason kung bakit ko sya nakilala, hindi ko man maipaliwanag kung bakit ganito ang ending namin..in time..and when the time comes that I finally realize what's the reason behind this, dun ko lang kayang tanggapin lahat.

I am missing her terribly..I want to say, I love you.. I miss your hugs..i miss everything about you..and I'm saying sorry kasi di ko na matutupad yung promise ko that I will stay..